SETTLING IN AND OPEN ADOPTION
What a whirlwind couple of weeks! Cora Grace is 34 days old and time feels like it's moving at warp speeds. The love I feel for this tiny human is quite surreal. From the moment she was born, through uncontrollable sobs, I knew this little girl was special. Joe and I returned to work two weeks ago (more on that later) which was a challenge, but we are figuring out the daily routine and falling more in love with each passing day!
One of the most frequently asked questions that I have fielded in the past few weeks is if we will have an open adoption with Cora's birth mom. The short answer is absolutely! However, I want to be super honest and disclose that my opinion has very much evolved throughout our adoption journey. When we first started this process, I thought to myself that parenting is already challenging. Why would I voluntarily add complexity to the mix? In hindsight, I can reflect that my perception was a bit misguided. I'll caveat this post by clarifying that openness might not be for everyone, and should always prioritize the best interest of the child.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Joe and I completed adoption academy through Nationwide Children's Hospital. Adoption Academy is an 8 week crash course on the ins and outs of the adoption world. Through this class work, I learned that openness can be a very healthy and healing gift to a successful adoption. In addition to the obvious benefits, like knowing our child's medical history and ancestral background, there is HUGE emotional upside!
Who doesn't want more people to love their child, right? Cora is not only loved and cherished by our family, friends, and community, but we are blessed to offer her the love and support of her first family (AKA birth family). I don't ever want there to be a day when Cora "discovers" that she was adopted. We have her birth mom's picture from the hospital placed on a shelf in the nursery next to our family photo! When I rock Cora to sleep, I tell her the story of how Joe and I wished for a child to grow our family and how that wish came true when her birth mom chose us to be her parents. I tell her that she grew in her birth mom's tummy and that she loved Cora SO much and knew how much we wanted a child that she trusted us to be her mom and dad!
I feel so thankful to have a relationship with Cora's first family. As she grows and becomes curious, I know that this relationship will provide comfort and strength.
I hope this post provided a tiny bit of insight into our choice. Openness feels like the best choice for our family and we can't wait to see what the future holds!
XO
J
What a whirlwind couple of weeks! Cora Grace is 34 days old and time feels like it's moving at warp speeds. The love I feel for this tiny human is quite surreal. From the moment she was born, through uncontrollable sobs, I knew this little girl was special. Joe and I returned to work two weeks ago (more on that later) which was a challenge, but we are figuring out the daily routine and falling more in love with each passing day!
One of the most frequently asked questions that I have fielded in the past few weeks is if we will have an open adoption with Cora's birth mom. The short answer is absolutely! However, I want to be super honest and disclose that my opinion has very much evolved throughout our adoption journey. When we first started this process, I thought to myself that parenting is already challenging. Why would I voluntarily add complexity to the mix? In hindsight, I can reflect that my perception was a bit misguided. I'll caveat this post by clarifying that openness might not be for everyone, and should always prioritize the best interest of the child.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Joe and I completed adoption academy through Nationwide Children's Hospital. Adoption Academy is an 8 week crash course on the ins and outs of the adoption world. Through this class work, I learned that openness can be a very healthy and healing gift to a successful adoption. In addition to the obvious benefits, like knowing our child's medical history and ancestral background, there is HUGE emotional upside!
Who doesn't want more people to love their child, right? Cora is not only loved and cherished by our family, friends, and community, but we are blessed to offer her the love and support of her first family (AKA birth family). I don't ever want there to be a day when Cora "discovers" that she was adopted. We have her birth mom's picture from the hospital placed on a shelf in the nursery next to our family photo! When I rock Cora to sleep, I tell her the story of how Joe and I wished for a child to grow our family and how that wish came true when her birth mom chose us to be her parents. I tell her that she grew in her birth mom's tummy and that she loved Cora SO much and knew how much we wanted a child that she trusted us to be her mom and dad!
I feel so thankful to have a relationship with Cora's first family. As she grows and becomes curious, I know that this relationship will provide comfort and strength.
I hope this post provided a tiny bit of insight into our choice. Openness feels like the best choice for our family and we can't wait to see what the future holds!
XO
J
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